Vet Office One Liners...

 Sooo, do you ever wonder to yourself...WTF!?  I do, everyday.  And here is why....

Veterinary Technician: (vet-er-in-ARY tek-ni-SHUN), noun.  The person that comes into your examination room to discuss your pets particular case and obtain a brief medical history to relay to the Veterinarian, or that girl that comes into the small room with your drooling, pissing, insane and agitated animal and asks a bunch of useless questions that you in turn answer in the complete oposite fashion to what is really going on.  The actual history is then given to the Veterinarian, rendering the history you gave to the technician utterly useless.

Example...

Tech: "Are there any vomiting or diarrhea concerns that you are seeing at home with Fluffy, Mrs. Smith?"

Mrs. Smith: "Nope, he's just here for his shots."

....Enter Veterinarian....

Mrs. Smith: "Doctor, could you check his tummy.  He has been vomiting blood and having explosive diarrhea for like 6 months..."

Tech: (To herself) "Fuck my life..."

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"He won't bite."

....10 stitches later.....

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"Yea, he's up to date on shots.  Except the rabies and distemper and....."

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"No, he's an indoor dog.  He only goes outside during the day."

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Cat presents to the hospital for drooling.

Tech: "When did you notice the excessive drooling?"

Client: "It started yesterday, but there was no drool."

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"There is no such thing as cancer, Vets and Doctors made it up to make money."

....I shit you not....

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Dog is presented to hospital for weeks of being sick.  Weeeeeeks.  Vomit, diarrhea, weight loss, not eating, siiiiick.  Doctor recommends bloodwork, xrays, and iv fluids among other medications and tests.  Technician presents owner with estimate. 

Owner thinks it's not that bad, he'll just watch him at home.  He has a FEELING he will get better.  That doctor doesn't know what he's talking about.

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Owner: "I don't want to spend alot of money on the cat, you know, he's just a stray.  He wandered up to our house 7 years ago and we decided to keep him.  He's just a stray..."

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*Riiiiing.......... Riiiiing*  

Technician: "Hello, thank you for calling the Animal Hospital.  How can I help you?"

Caller: "Hi I just have a quick question....."

****20 Minutes later****

Caller: "So what do you think is wrong with him?"

Technician: "Well, sir, we would have to see him I can't give you much information over the phone without actually seeing your pet..."

Caller: "So you don't think you can tell me what's wrong with him, this is what's going on..."

****20 Minutes later****

Technician: "Would you like to be seen sir, that sounds like it could be pretty serious.  I can make you an appointment this evening."

Caller: "Nah, I'll just call my regular vet in the morning."

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If you liked this there is plenty more to come.  Some may be ironic, some may be idiotic, some may even be a little graphic.  Stay tuned.  The general public always has something to say that will make it's way up onto my Hubs!